Excerpt from novel: War In A Beautiful Country

In any case, she had just enough time now for a shower, although she was tempted to skip it.
Since she was not a farmer or a laborer made dirty by outside forces, in the modern world a shower was just washing yourself away from yourself. A shower was always a disappointment to her since it never washed away the general paltriness of her naked soul and the embarrassment of her mediocrity, which she felt whenever she entered this state of wished for liquid redemption. Each time she expected a miracle, a transition from her old life into something fresh, new, half expecting to become someone better.
She realized it was a lot to ask ten minutes of hot water to do.
All she ever got was clean.