Excerpt from One-Act Play EQUALS
WOMAN :
(TO AUDIENCE)
One tells oneself that one cares for the other person, acts on that temporary belief, and the other responds to those actions.
Once the other person returns a response appropriate to that believed belief, a shift suddenly occurs.
When faced with the results --- the responsibility-- of allowing someone else an equal footing in one's life, one examines the justness, the appropriateness of that entrance, and finds itwanting.
Then you must push him out again.
So. It is a question of trust; a cruel, double game trust plays here.
First, one trusts one's own sincerity in initiating the encounter.
You see, I say initiating because it is unlikely that the other would voluntarily participate in this relationship; the other already knows how things stand.
The other begins by saying 'Look lady, I got my borders. I gave them to myself, and other people agree with them. I don't want to go over to your ground, to trespass; you'll come at me with the dogs and guns...'
But then, no---and, here is where the cruelty comes in-- you say to him 'No. No. My good man. Don't be silly! Who is to say what borders we can cross. Come. Come over. I invite you.'
He, of course, hesitates. It's not so easy plunging beyond borders which all agree are prohibited. So you say to him 'Oh, come on -- come on. I'd love it. Pay me a visit...Oh, please join me.'
After a while of this, he thinks not only that you really want him to ... and so do you think you do --- but that it is important to you, necessary for you.
He, of course, wants to come. Has always wanted to come. Is yearning to come.
On the other hand, he has tamed the yearning. It is a sacrifice for him to bring it out, up and out, of the cellar of his life, a great lugging and struggling on the stairs. But you tell him it is time for it come up. To do the struggle once and for all, and then he gets it, drags it, and panting with success brings it up and takes it over your border.
Somehow, you immediately are sorry.
Good grief, what have I done, you say suddenly to yourself, not knowing until that moment that you have played a trick on yourself......not to mention on him.
I don't want him here, you say. What shall I do with him. There is no place. There is no room. And he with that ugly big yearning............
Where shall I put them both....for heaven's sake!
No. No. I must get rid of them as soon as possible. Shoo them out. Oh my. How difficult and unpleasant. But it must be done.
'Oh, I'm sorry,' I must say to him. 'There is a mistake. Today is not the day. And, as you can see, we are very busy here.
'Look, we're digging up the garden.
'No. No!--Now look what you've done.
'You can't stay there.
'Maybe over here. Oh, no. Not there either.
'Listen, could we make it another time!
Oh, I don't know. I can let you know. Yes, I'm sorry. I know it was a difficult trip for you to get here....but you see, it just isn't the place.
'Surely, you can understand that. Just look around you.
'I mean, we both can see (WHISPERS)....that..............'
CURTAIN FALLS